The two people that have influenced me the most are my parents, so I decided to write my mom a hand written letter and my dad an email. The reason I chose to not write my mom the email was simply because she is not very internet/computer inclined, therefore I didn’t even think she would know how to respond. Even today with all the technology our world has to offer she still likes to write things down on a pad of paper, and instead of putting reminders in her phone like most people she hangs post its on her desk. My dad on the other hand is a business man and has to check his email on his blackberry on the daily. I knew he would respond, I actually had a prediction that he would email me back within an hour of me sending the email.
The book mentions channels of communication which deal with the different outcomes you want from your form of communication. I feel that hand written letters are much more personal than writing an email, because no one does it anymore and it shows a lot more time and dedication. My mom and I aren’t as close as my dad and I are and I don’t communicate with her as much as my dad. So I chose my channel of communication to be the hand written letter to really let her know how much I appreciate her in my life, and how big of an influence she has had on the person I have become today. I thought that form of communication would have the bigger impact, versus the simple email I was going to send to my dad.
When I wrote my mom the handwritten letter I noticed I found myself trying to be a lot more descriptive with my writing. For some reason when I think of writing letters I always think of old movies where characters are writing letters to one another and they always sound so intense and emotional, and for some reason I caught myself trying to match that intensity. The funny thing is, was that when my mom replied to my letter I caught her trying to match my intensity and sincerity in the letter. She couldn’t thank me enough for all the nice things I said about her, and that it really meant a lot that I took the time to write down all my feelings in a letter.
I then noticed that when I wrote my dad then email I wasn’t as formal compared to the hand written letter and was a lot shorter. I just started it out with “dad” there was no “dear dad” or any kind of formal greeting. Very quickly I thanked him for being the dad he is and that I really appreciate it. I was direct and straight to the point. I also found myself not using the correct form of written English, I was using computer slang. My dads response was almost identical to mine. He used three periods in a row to separate his different thoughts, very informal. This is what part of the email looked like:
Stace….thanks for your note, I really appreciate it…
All in all I enjoyed taking the time to tell the ones I love that I really do appreciate what they have done for me. However I think I am definitely going to stick with the email version of communicating, even if my mom isn’t on board with all the new technology! She is just going to have to learn.
Interesting, are your parents still together? If so would they compare notes and figure out they were the subject of a communication experiment? In my case both of my parents have passed away, had I written a letter to each of them, I doubt they would have even mentioned to the other, even living in the same house.